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| | Home | Coaching | Products | Retreats | Programs | Newsletters | | Resources | FAQ | Testimonials | About Helen | Contact Helen | Copyright © 2005 - 2008 Better Than Ever Coaching. All rights reserved. Address: P.O. Box 391, Brewster, MA 02631 Telephone: (508) 896-5779 Click here to Contact Helen |
Newsletters - October 2006
| Better Than Ever Coaching |
*****************************************************
What Could Be Better?
Written by Helen F. Kosinski, Professional Coach
October 2006: Volume 1, Issue 2
***********************************************************
This Month: Behind the Mask
***********************************************************
Hi,
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter! It’s been such fun
hearing back from so many of you…what a treat for me!
Are you all ready for Halloween? Since we moved to the Cape, we
don’t get many children coming to our door on Halloween, which I
really miss. They are so cute and so excited about being
dressed up and getting candy! I love seeing them in their
costumes.
It’s fun to dress up as someone else once in a while, but what
happens if you’re ‘dressing up as someone else’ everyday or
consistently in a particular role? That’s exactly what today’s
feature article is all about! I hope you find it interesting
and maybe it will move you to examine some of the masks that you
may be wearing that prevent you from living the life you’ve
always dreamed of living…
Enjoy the fall and have a great Halloween!
Make it a Better Than Ever month!
All my best,
Helen
***********************************************************
Feature Article: Behind the Mask
***********************************************************
While working in Corporate America, there was a manager (not
mine) that was a real ‘bear’! I often thought that he must have
been a horrible father, given the way that he treated his staff.
I recall mentioning this to one of my colleagues. You can
imagine my surprise when I found out that my colleague knew this
individual outside of work and spoke very highly of him. He
even commented about how the ‘bear’ was really terrific with his
children! Wow! If only the ‘bear’ would let his true colors
show through at work, I thought, his staff would love him and
his work life would be so much easier!
I can’t help wondering what it cost the ‘bear’ to keep this mask
on at work. When there is a discrepancy in the way a person
truly is vs. the way he/she forces him/herself to be, there are
usually consequences…some of them significant. Just think about
how stressful it is for you to wear a mask in just one
particular situation. Maybe it’s at your sister’s bridal
shower. You really don’t care for the future in-laws, but you
want to be there to celebrate with your sister. So, you’ve got
to pretend that you enjoy this group’s company. But deep down,
I’ll bet you can’t wait for that shower to end. It’s really
hard for you to smile and make pleasant small talk, isn’t it?
How do you think you would feel if your entire working or
personal life was based on wearing a mask? I imagine you would
be very frustrated or maybe you’d just give up – kind of
surrender to the mask. You’d also probably be exhausted every
evening…keeping that mask in place takes a lot of energy and can
have a negative impact on your health.
Okay, I can hear you saying, ’But if I let the real me show
through they will <you pick the words…but maybe it will be
something like – eat me alive, take advantage of me, not respect
me>.’. Is this true? How do you know for sure that is what
will happen?
Do you wear a mask at work, at home, at church, when you’re out
with your friends? Maybe I’ve piqued your interest and you’re
thinking about removing your mask (even if it’s just briefly) or
‘lifting’ your mask and peeking out from underneath it. The
following questions may help you start this process…
Now that you’ve taken some time to think about these questions,
what’s next for you? Do you want to be daring and completely
remove one of your masks? Or, are you ready to try removing a
mask during a few exchanges that are comfortable for you?
Whatever the step is…just take one small step forward! You may
be surprised at how freeing it feels to be without your mask!
***********************************************************
What’s Next for You?
***********************************************************
It can be scary to just think about removing a mask that has
become such a part of you. This month, I’d like you take off one
of your masks in at least one situation. You can remove it during
a group meeting, a 1-on-1 with an employee, your 1-on-1 with
your manager, an exchange with your children or spouse, or some
other occasion that you usually wear that mask.
Before going without your mask, take some time to write down
exactly what it will mean for you to be without your mask. The
possibilities for this are endless, but it may include,
disagreeing with someone that you normally always agree with,
providing feedback that may be a bit controversial, saying ’no’,
when you usually say ‘yes’, etc.
After you experience being without your mask, jot down how it
felt, which may include freedom, scared, open, unsure, happy,
etc.
Deciding to fully remove your mask probably won’t happen
overnight, but if you keep slowly finding opportunities to let
the real you shine through, you may find that your health
improves, you have more energy, you’re enjoying yourself more
often, etc.
What happened when you went without your mask? Please send me
an e-mail (Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com) and tell me
about your experience.
***********************************************************
What Do You Think?
***********************************************************
Do you remember those plastic Halloween masks with the elastic
that went around your head? I remember one year dressing up as
a skeleton and having to wear one of those masks. I was so
excited about it! I remember going around to all of our
neighbor’s homes and collecting my candy.
I also recall that although I was having fun, I found that the
mask was sort of uncomfortable and was making it difficult to
fully enjoy myself. I had to keep adjusting it to match up the
eyeholes with my eyes. The elastic on the back of my head
didn’t hold too well (that may have had something to do with the
fact that my brother had worn the costume before…) so it was
constantly slipping. And, I had to keep lifting the mask up to
get some fresh air…it was hard to breath and it was HOT under
the mask.
I think there are some similarities to my Halloween mask
experience and the masks that people choose to wear everyday.
For example, masks can be fun to wear for a short time, but
sometimes they can be uncomfortable, they may not really fit the
person who is wearing it and they can be somewhat unhealthy.
What memories do you have about some of the Halloween masks that
you wore as a child? What characteristics of those childhood
masks can you relate to the masks that you currently wear? Do
you feel like sharing your mask stories with me? I’d love to
hear from you (Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com)…with
your permission, I’ll include your thoughts in a future issue of
‘What Could Be Better?’.
***********************************************************
Resources
***********************************************************
-- Articles --
Halloween Everyday: The Mask of ‘I’ve Got It All Together’ by
Jeff Herring
http://ezinearticles.com/?Halloween-Everyday:-The-Mask-of-Ive-Got-It-All-Together&id=89231
History of the Mask - Encyclopedia Britannica
http://anymask.com/historyofmask.html
The Masks We Wear by Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sherven1.html
Stress Management: How to Take Off Those Masks We Wear by Jeff
Herring
http://ezinearticles.com/?Stress-Management:-How-to-Take-Off-Those-
Masks-We-Wear&id=66583
-- Book --
Removing Your Mask: No More Hiding from Your Truth by Marion Moss
-- Website --
Masks – All kinds of information about all different kinds of
masks (e.g., African Masks, Carnival Masks). This site also
includes an educational section that has links to other sites
that show you how to make masks with young children
http://42explore.com/mask.htm
Note: Mention of any of the above resources does not
indicate endorsement.
***********************************************************
Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. It is published
every month, except for a combined issue in November/December
and July/August. To cancel or change your subscription, please
refer to the link at the very bottom of this newsletter.
Feel free to pass this newsletter along to your friends,
relatives and colleagues; however, I request that you keep the
entire issue intact and unaltered.
To subscribe to this fr*ee newsletter, please send a blank
e-mail to Helen20-192607@autocontactor.com. When you receive
the confirmation e-mail, please follow the instructions to
complete your subscription. As a special THANK YOU for
subscribing, you will receive Three FR*EE Success Journal
Secrets to Creating a Better Life!
Your privacy is important to me. I do not give out or sell my
subscriber list to anyone.
Please send any questions, comments or insights to me at:
Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com or P.O. Box 391,
Brewster, MA 02631. You can also give me a call at:
(888)294-5779.
For more information, please visit my website at:
www.BetterThanEverCoaching.com.
Would you like some assistance with removing your mask in a
certain situation? I offer a 30-minute complimentary coaching
meeting that would be the perfect place to start. Please e-mail
me (Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com) or call me
(888-294-5779) to setup a convenient time to meet.
***********************************************************
Better Than Ever Coaching
Partnering with Professionals to
Confidently Navigate Change
***********************************************************
Copyright © 2006 Better Than Ever Coaching.
All rights reserved.
***********************************************************
What Could Be Better?
Written by Helen F. Kosinski, Professional Coach
October 2006: Volume 1, Issue 2
***********************************************************
This Month: Behind the Mask
 | Feature Article | |
| What's Next for You? | |
| What Do You Think? | |
| Resources |
Hi,
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter! It’s been such fun
hearing back from so many of you…what a treat for me!
Are you all ready for Halloween? Since we moved to the Cape, we
don’t get many children coming to our door on Halloween, which I
really miss. They are so cute and so excited about being
dressed up and getting candy! I love seeing them in their
costumes.
It’s fun to dress up as someone else once in a while, but what
happens if you’re ‘dressing up as someone else’ everyday or
consistently in a particular role? That’s exactly what today’s
feature article is all about! I hope you find it interesting
and maybe it will move you to examine some of the masks that you
may be wearing that prevent you from living the life you’ve
always dreamed of living…
Enjoy the fall and have a great Halloween!
Make it a Better Than Ever month!
All my best,
Helen
***********************************************************
Feature Article: Behind the Mask
***********************************************************
While working in Corporate America, there was a manager (not
mine) that was a real ‘bear’! I often thought that he must have
been a horrible father, given the way that he treated his staff.
I recall mentioning this to one of my colleagues. You can
imagine my surprise when I found out that my colleague knew this
individual outside of work and spoke very highly of him. He
even commented about how the ‘bear’ was really terrific with his
children! Wow! If only the ‘bear’ would let his true colors
show through at work, I thought, his staff would love him and
his work life would be so much easier!
I can’t help wondering what it cost the ‘bear’ to keep this mask
on at work. When there is a discrepancy in the way a person
truly is vs. the way he/she forces him/herself to be, there are
usually consequences…some of them significant. Just think about
how stressful it is for you to wear a mask in just one
particular situation. Maybe it’s at your sister’s bridal
shower. You really don’t care for the future in-laws, but you
want to be there to celebrate with your sister. So, you’ve got
to pretend that you enjoy this group’s company. But deep down,
I’ll bet you can’t wait for that shower to end. It’s really
hard for you to smile and make pleasant small talk, isn’t it?
How do you think you would feel if your entire working or
personal life was based on wearing a mask? I imagine you would
be very frustrated or maybe you’d just give up – kind of
surrender to the mask. You’d also probably be exhausted every
evening…keeping that mask in place takes a lot of energy and can
have a negative impact on your health.
Okay, I can hear you saying, ’But if I let the real me show
through they will <you pick the words…but maybe it will be
something like – eat me alive, take advantage of me, not respect
me>.’. Is this true? How do you know for sure that is what
will happen?
Do you wear a mask at work, at home, at church, when you’re out
with your friends? Maybe I’ve piqued your interest and you’re
thinking about removing your mask (even if it’s just briefly) or
‘lifting’ your mask and peeking out from underneath it. The
following questions may help you start this process…
| What mask(s) do you wear? | |
| What is behind one of your masks? | |
| What prevents you from removing that one mask? | |
| What is the worst thing that could happen if you removed one of | |
| your masks? | ||
| What's the best thing that could happen? | |
| What is the cost (e.g., health, happiness) to you to keep this | |
| mask in place? Is it worth it? | ||
| What would it feel like to remove one of your masks? | |
| What's most likely to happen if you remove one of your masks? |
Now that you’ve taken some time to think about these questions,
what’s next for you? Do you want to be daring and completely
remove one of your masks? Or, are you ready to try removing a
mask during a few exchanges that are comfortable for you?
Whatever the step is…just take one small step forward! You may
be surprised at how freeing it feels to be without your mask!
***********************************************************
What’s Next for You?
***********************************************************
It can be scary to just think about removing a mask that has
become such a part of you. This month, I’d like you take off one
of your masks in at least one situation. You can remove it during
a group meeting, a 1-on-1 with an employee, your 1-on-1 with
your manager, an exchange with your children or spouse, or some
other occasion that you usually wear that mask.
Before going without your mask, take some time to write down
exactly what it will mean for you to be without your mask. The
possibilities for this are endless, but it may include,
disagreeing with someone that you normally always agree with,
providing feedback that may be a bit controversial, saying ’no’,
when you usually say ‘yes’, etc.
After you experience being without your mask, jot down how it
felt, which may include freedom, scared, open, unsure, happy,
etc.
Deciding to fully remove your mask probably won’t happen
overnight, but if you keep slowly finding opportunities to let
the real you shine through, you may find that your health
improves, you have more energy, you’re enjoying yourself more
often, etc.
What happened when you went without your mask? Please send me
an e-mail (Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com) and tell me
about your experience.
***********************************************************
What Do You Think?
***********************************************************
Do you remember those plastic Halloween masks with the elastic
that went around your head? I remember one year dressing up as
a skeleton and having to wear one of those masks. I was so
excited about it! I remember going around to all of our
neighbor’s homes and collecting my candy.
I also recall that although I was having fun, I found that the
mask was sort of uncomfortable and was making it difficult to
fully enjoy myself. I had to keep adjusting it to match up the
eyeholes with my eyes. The elastic on the back of my head
didn’t hold too well (that may have had something to do with the
fact that my brother had worn the costume before…) so it was
constantly slipping. And, I had to keep lifting the mask up to
get some fresh air…it was hard to breath and it was HOT under
the mask.
I think there are some similarities to my Halloween mask
experience and the masks that people choose to wear everyday.
For example, masks can be fun to wear for a short time, but
sometimes they can be uncomfortable, they may not really fit the
person who is wearing it and they can be somewhat unhealthy.
What memories do you have about some of the Halloween masks that
you wore as a child? What characteristics of those childhood
masks can you relate to the masks that you currently wear? Do
you feel like sharing your mask stories with me? I’d love to
hear from you (Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com)…with
your permission, I’ll include your thoughts in a future issue of
‘What Could Be Better?’.
***********************************************************
Resources
***********************************************************
-- Articles --
Halloween Everyday: The Mask of ‘I’ve Got It All Together’ by
Jeff Herring
http://ezinearticles.com/?Halloween-Everyday:-The-Mask-of-Ive-Got-It-
History of the Mask - Encyclopedia Britannica
http://anymask.com/historyofmask.html
The Masks We Wear by Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sherven1.html
Stress Management: How to Take Off Those Masks We Wear by Jeff
Herring
http://ezinearticles.com/?Stress-Management:-How-to-Take-Off-Those-
Masks-We-Wear&id=66583
-- Book --
Removing Your Mask: No More Hiding from Your Truth by Marion Moss
-- Website --
Masks – All kinds of information about all different kinds of
masks (e.g., African Masks, Carnival Masks). This site also
includes an educational section that has links to other sites
that show you how to make masks with young children
http://42explore.com/mask.htm
Note: Mention of any of the above resources does not
indicate endorsement.
***********************************************************
Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. It is published
every month, except for a combined issue in November/December
and July/August. To cancel or change your subscription, please
refer to the link at the very bottom of this newsletter.
Feel free to pass this newsletter along to your friends,
relatives and colleagues; however, I request that you keep the
entire issue intact and unaltered.
To subscribe to this fr*ee newsletter, please send a blank
e-mail to Helen20-192607@autocontactor.com. When you receive
the confirmation e-mail, please follow the instructions to
complete your subscription. As a special THANK YOU for
subscribing, you will receive Three FR*EE Success Journal
Secrets to Creating a Better Life!
Your privacy is important to me. I do not give out or sell my
subscriber list to anyone.
Please send any questions, comments or insights to me at:
Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com or P.O. Box 391,
Brewster, MA 02631. You can also give me a call at:
(888)294-5779.
For more information, please visit my website at:
www.BetterThanEverCoaching.com.
Would you like some assistance with removing your mask in a
certain situation? I offer a 30-minute complimentary coaching
meeting that would be the perfect place to start. Please e-mail
me (Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com) or call me
(888-294-5779) to setup a convenient time to meet.
***********************************************************
Better Than Ever Coaching
Partnering with Professionals to
Confidently Navigate Change
***********************************************************
Copyright © 2006 Better Than Ever Coaching.
All rights reserved.
***********************************************************
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