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| | Home | Coaching | Products | Retreats | Programs | Newsletters | | Resources | FAQ | Testimonials | About Helen | Contact Helen | Copyright © 2005 - 2008 Better Than Ever Coaching. All rights reserved. Address: P.O. Box 391, Brewster, MA 02631 Telephone: (508) 896-5779 Click here to Contact Helen |
Newsletters - September 2007
| Better Than Ever Coaching |
*****************************************************
What Could Be Better?
Written by:
Helen F. Kosinski, ACC, MBA - Professional Coach
September 2007: Volume 2, Issue 8 / ISSN # 1935-4827
*****************************************************
This Month: The 3 R's...it is not what you think!
- Feature Article
- What's Next for You?
- Resources
- From Our Readers
*****************************************************
Hi,
Happy September! I hope you enjoyed your summer. I can’t tell you
how many people have commented on how FAST this past summer
went. I have to agree with them, it sure flew by!
You’ll never guess what I did this summer… In July, I graduated from
the Advanced Coach Training program offered by Coach U! I really
enjoyed the program. They offered a wide variety of classes that really
helped to prepare me to be a well rounded, experienced coach. I feel
fortunate to have had knowledgeable instructors and very engaged
classmates, who made going through this process interesting,
challenging and fun.
Can you believe it’s been one year since I wrote the first issue of this
newsletter? I sure can’t! I’ve really enjoyed writing to you each month. I
would like to thank you for your continued interest and to say how
happy I am that so many of you have contacted me with your
wonderful feedback, stories and successes. I’d like to take this
opportunity to invite you to send me an e-mail
(mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com) to let me know how I’m
doing. It would be very helpful to receive your thoughts.
I hope you find today’s topic ‘The 3 Rs’ valuable. What do you think
these 3 Rs relate to? It probably isn’t what you think… I’d love to hear
what impact these 3 Rs have in your life.
Have a Better Than Ever month!
All my best,
Helen
*************************************************************
Feature Article: The 3 Rs...it is not what you think!
*************************************************************
Quick! What do you think of when you read – ‘The 3 Rs’? Some folks
will automatically think of ‘Reading, Writing and ‘Rithmatic’, especially
around this time of year. I guess you’d call those the 3 Rs of Education
or Schooling.
But, this newsletter isn’t about THOSE 3 Rs. It’s about the 3 Rs of
Confidence.
When you think of someone who has confidence, what attributes stand
out for you? I picture someone who is knowledgeable, appropriately
enthusiastic, comfortable in his/her own skin and eager to listen to
others, yet willing to share what he/she knows. When the person’s
confidence is genuine, there is a charisma that just naturally draws
other people to this person. Would you like to embody the
characteristics of a confident person? The following 3 Rs will get you
headed in the right direction:
1. Reframe
It’s important to realize we create our own level of confidence, and on
the flip-side, we can create our lack of confidence. We each have the
power to reframe our self perceptions with regards to our self-
confidence. To be truthful, it all goes back to what we tell ourselves and
what we choose to believe about ourselves in any given situation.
Here’s an example. Suppose I’m going on a job interview which
requires in-depth knowledge about project management. I haven’t
managed any projects for well over a year, but prior to that I had 15+
years of solid project management experience. Do you think I’ll be
confident in this interview? Well, if I tell myself that I must be crazy to be
going on this interview because I’ve been out touch for such a long time
and everything in project management has probably changed, I
suspect I won’t be very confident. However, if I tell myself that:
I know I’ll have the confidence in the interview to be a viable candidatefor the job! Can you hear the difference in what I am telling myself in
each of these scenarios?
Now, it’s your turn. Is there a situation where you are not as confident
as you would like to be? What shift can you make right now in your
thinking to give yourself a confidence boost? How can you focus on
the value that you bring to this situation, instead of what you think you
don’t have? What things are you telling yourself that are not based in
facts? What facts could you add to your thoughts to increase your
confidence?
2. Rekindle
When we’re not at our best confidence level, it can be helpful to
rekindle our confidence. You’re probably asking, ‘What does that
mean?’ All of us have a time in our past when we felt confident.
Rekindle means to go back to one of those confident times, examine it
and use the information you gather to gain the confidence you desire in
your current situation.
Here’s how it works. Think about a time when you were very confident.
Picture it as vividly as you can. Sometimes writing down key points
about the situation can be helpful.
Once you have a crystal clear picture of this confident time, start the
examination by asking yourself a few questions, like ‘What made me
so confident?’, ‘Who was I being when I was so confident?’ or ‘What
was the benefit of my confidence?’.
Now, think about the difference between the time you were confident
and your current situation. Think about your responses in the previous
paragraph and determine how you can relate them to your current
situation. For example, what’s different between these two situations?
What specific steps can I take to make these two situations more
similar?
3. Role Model
Often it helps to have a ‘role model’ who demonstrates your desired
level of confidence. Can you think of someone (you don’t have to know
them personally) who you have observed that has confidence? What
specifically did he/she do, say, etc.? Be as specific as you can be as
you think about this person. Then, think about what changes you can
comfortably make to more closely resemble his/her confident style.
Remember, you are not trying to ‘be this person’. You are using
him/her as a confidence role model.
Confidence is a great feeling. Things just seem to flow when one has
confidence. It really can make all the difference in the world!
*************************************************************
What’s Next for You?
*************************************************************
Before you get started on your own experiment with the 3Rs of
Confidence, it’s important to note that there’s no order to this process
(e.g., you can do Rekindle, Reframe and then Role Model) and you may
find that you don’t need to do all three of these to meet your desired
confidence level.
Are you ready to try out the 3 Rs of Confidence? Terrific!
Think of a situation in which you would like to be more confident. Now,
pick the ‘R’ – Reframe, Rekindle or Role Model – that feels right to you.
Once you’ve followed the suggestion for the ‘R’, reassess your
confidence level. Is it where you’d like it to be? If so, you’re done! If
not, pick a different ‘R’ and follow those suggestions. Go through the
‘Rs’ until you feel that your confidence level has reached the level you’d
like it to be.
We would love to hear your success with the 3 Rs! Please send an e-
mail to mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com with a brief
description and I’ll include it in a future issue of ‘What Could Be Better’.
Please let me know if you’d like to remain anonymous.
*************************************************************
Resources
*************************************************************
-- Articles --
Choosing Confidence by Steve Goodier
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Choosing_Confidence.html
Create Your Own Ultimate Self Confidence by Mohammen Magdy
http://ezinearticles.com/?Create-Your-Own-Ultimate-Self-
Confidence&id=346651
Paradigm of Confidence by Samia Aleem
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Aleem2.html
Seven Easy Ways to Build Unshakeable Confidence by Kevin Sinclair
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sinclair9.html
Tips on Building Self Confidence by Tim Austin
http://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-on-Building-Self-Confidence&id=339944
-- Books --
Confidence by Rosabeth Moss Kanter
The Confidence Plan by Tim Ursiny
What’s Holding You Back? by Sam Horn
Note: Mention of any of the above resources does not
indicate endorsement.
*****************************************************
From Our Readers
*****************************************************
Tim Hodder, a Software Consultant, contacted me with the following
suggestion for making his summer vacation last!
‘I've spread out my vacation over the whole summer -- I work 4-day
work weeks. The fifth day is a vacation day, so I'm still treated as full-
time. It is nice because I'll take the one day off to do some biking on
less crowded trails or golfing without feeling rushed. There's still the
option of doing nothing -- sitting poolside chatting to any other
neighbors that are not working that day.
To me taking a day off a week keeps me relaxed over the whole
summer. I work less (very good thing), and if I get sick I know I still
have a vacation day the following week to enjoy.’
Tim also suggested the following resource:
*************************************************************
Working on the 3 Rs of Confidence can catapult you forward! Why not
set up a complimentary meeting with me to find out how coaching can
help you to confidently move forward? Please contact me at
mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com to setup a time to meet
over the phone or in-person.
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. It is published
every month, except for a combined issue in November/December
and July/August. To cancel or change your subscription, please
refer to the link at the very bottom of this newsletter.
Do you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter? Please
send the entire issue intact and unaltered to them! Thank you!
To subscribe to this free newsletter, please send a blank e-mail
to mailto:Helen20-192607@autocontactor.com. When you receive
the confirmation e-mail, please follow the instructions to
complete your subscription. As a special Thank You for
subscribing, you will receive Three FREE Success Journal Secrets
to Creating a Better Life!
Your privacy is important to me. I do not give out or sell my
subscriber list to anyone.
Please send any questions, comments or insights to me at:
mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com or P.O. Box 391,
Brewster, MA 02631. Or you can give me a call toll-free at:
(888) 294-5779.
Be sure to visit my website at:
http://www.BetterThanEverCoaching.com for more information.
*************************************************************
Better Than Ever Coaching
Partnering with Professionals to
Confidently Navigate Change
*************************************************************
Copyright © 2007 Better Than Ever Coaching.
All rights reserved.
*************************************************************
What Could Be Better?
Written by:
Helen F. Kosinski, ACC, MBA - Professional Coach
September 2007: Volume 2, Issue 8 / ISSN # 1935-4827
*****************************************************
This Month: The 3 R's...it is not what you think!
- Feature Article
- What's Next for You?
- Resources
- From Our Readers
*****************************************************
Hi,
Happy September! I hope you enjoyed your summer. I can’t tell you
how many people have commented on how FAST this past summer
went. I have to agree with them, it sure flew by!
You’ll never guess what I did this summer… In July, I graduated from
the Advanced Coach Training program offered by Coach U! I really
enjoyed the program. They offered a wide variety of classes that really
helped to prepare me to be a well rounded, experienced coach. I feel
fortunate to have had knowledgeable instructors and very engaged
classmates, who made going through this process interesting,
challenging and fun.
Can you believe it’s been one year since I wrote the first issue of this
newsletter? I sure can’t! I’ve really enjoyed writing to you each month. I
would like to thank you for your continued interest and to say how
happy I am that so many of you have contacted me with your
wonderful feedback, stories and successes. I’d like to take this
opportunity to invite you to send me an e-mail
(mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com) to let me know how I’m
doing. It would be very helpful to receive your thoughts.
I hope you find today’s topic ‘The 3 Rs’ valuable. What do you think
these 3 Rs relate to? It probably isn’t what you think… I’d love to hear
what impact these 3 Rs have in your life.
Have a Better Than Ever month!
All my best,
Helen
*************************************************************
Feature Article: The 3 Rs...it is not what you think!
*************************************************************
Quick! What do you think of when you read – ‘The 3 Rs’? Some folks
will automatically think of ‘Reading, Writing and ‘Rithmatic’, especially
around this time of year. I guess you’d call those the 3 Rs of Education
or Schooling.
But, this newsletter isn’t about THOSE 3 Rs. It’s about the 3 Rs of
Confidence.
When you think of someone who has confidence, what attributes stand
out for you? I picture someone who is knowledgeable, appropriately
enthusiastic, comfortable in his/her own skin and eager to listen to
others, yet willing to share what he/she knows. When the person’s
confidence is genuine, there is a charisma that just naturally draws
other people to this person. Would you like to embody the
characteristics of a confident person? The following 3 Rs will get you
headed in the right direction:
1. Reframe
It’s important to realize we create our own level of confidence, and on
the flip-side, we can create our lack of confidence. We each have the
power to reframe our self perceptions with regards to our self-
confidence. To be truthful, it all goes back to what we tell ourselves and
what we choose to believe about ourselves in any given situation.
Here’s an example. Suppose I’m going on a job interview which
requires in-depth knowledge about project management. I haven’t
managed any projects for well over a year, but prior to that I had 15+
years of solid project management experience. Do you think I’ll be
confident in this interview? Well, if I tell myself that I must be crazy to be
going on this interview because I’ve been out touch for such a long time
and everything in project management has probably changed, I
suspect I won’t be very confident. However, if I tell myself that:
 | I was an expert in project management | |
| I still use many of the techniques in my everyday life | |
| I love managing projects because I get to see things completed |
I know I’ll have the confidence in the interview to be a viable candidate
each of these scenarios?
Now, it’s your turn. Is there a situation where you are not as confident
as you would like to be? What shift can you make right now in your
thinking to give yourself a confidence boost? How can you focus on
the value that you bring to this situation, instead of what you think you
don’t have? What things are you telling yourself that are not based in
facts? What facts could you add to your thoughts to increase your
confidence?
2. Rekindle
When we’re not at our best confidence level, it can be helpful to
rekindle our confidence. You’re probably asking, ‘What does that
mean?’ All of us have a time in our past when we felt confident.
Rekindle means to go back to one of those confident times, examine it
and use the information you gather to gain the confidence you desire in
your current situation.
Here’s how it works. Think about a time when you were very confident.
Picture it as vividly as you can. Sometimes writing down key points
about the situation can be helpful.
Once you have a crystal clear picture of this confident time, start the
examination by asking yourself a few questions, like ‘What made me
so confident?’, ‘Who was I being when I was so confident?’ or ‘What
was the benefit of my confidence?’.
Now, think about the difference between the time you were confident
and your current situation. Think about your responses in the previous
paragraph and determine how you can relate them to your current
situation. For example, what’s different between these two situations?
What specific steps can I take to make these two situations more
similar?
3. Role Model
Often it helps to have a ‘role model’ who demonstrates your desired
level of confidence. Can you think of someone (you don’t have to know
them personally) who you have observed that has confidence? What
specifically did he/she do, say, etc.? Be as specific as you can be as
you think about this person. Then, think about what changes you can
comfortably make to more closely resemble his/her confident style.
Remember, you are not trying to ‘be this person’. You are using
him/her as a confidence role model.
Confidence is a great feeling. Things just seem to flow when one has
confidence. It really can make all the difference in the world!
*************************************************************
What’s Next for You?
*************************************************************
Before you get started on your own experiment with the 3Rs of
Confidence, it’s important to note that there’s no order to this process
(e.g., you can do Rekindle, Reframe and then Role Model) and you may
find that you don’t need to do all three of these to meet your desired
confidence level.
Are you ready to try out the 3 Rs of Confidence? Terrific!
Think of a situation in which you would like to be more confident. Now,
pick the ‘R’ – Reframe, Rekindle or Role Model – that feels right to you.
Once you’ve followed the suggestion for the ‘R’, reassess your
confidence level. Is it where you’d like it to be? If so, you’re done! If
not, pick a different ‘R’ and follow those suggestions. Go through the
‘Rs’ until you feel that your confidence level has reached the level you’d
like it to be.
We would love to hear your success with the 3 Rs! Please send an e-
mail to mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com with a brief
description and I’ll include it in a future issue of ‘What Could Be Better’.
Please let me know if you’d like to remain anonymous.
*************************************************************
Resources
*************************************************************
-- Articles --
Choosing Confidence by Steve Goodier
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Choosing_Confidence.html
Create Your Own Ultimate Self Confidence by Mohammen Magdy
http://ezinearticles.com/?Create-Your-Own-Ultimate-Self-
Confidence&id=346651
Paradigm of Confidence by Samia Aleem
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Aleem2.html
Seven Easy Ways to Build Unshakeable Confidence by Kevin Sinclair
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sinclair9.html
Tips on Building Self Confidence by Tim Austin
http://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-on-Building-Self-Confidence&id=339944
-- Books --
Confidence by Rosabeth Moss Kanter
The Confidence Plan by Tim Ursiny
What’s Holding You Back? by Sam Horn
Note: Mention of any of the above resources does not
indicate endorsement.
*****************************************************
From Our Readers
*****************************************************
Tim Hodder, a Software Consultant, contacted me with the following
suggestion for making his summer vacation last!
‘I've spread out my vacation over the whole summer -- I work 4-day
work weeks. The fifth day is a vacation day, so I'm still treated as full-
time. It is nice because I'll take the one day off to do some biking on
less crowded trails or golfing without feeling rushed. There's still the
option of doing nothing -- sitting poolside chatting to any other
neighbors that are not working that day.
To me taking a day off a week keeps me relaxed over the whole
summer. I work less (very good thing), and if I get sick I know I still
have a vacation day the following week to enjoy.’
Tim also suggested the following resource:
| Turn It Off: How to Unplug from the Anytime-Anywhere Office | |
| Without Disconnecting Your Career (Paperback) by Gil Gordon |
*************************************************************
Working on the 3 Rs of Confidence can catapult you forward! Why not
set up a complimentary meeting with me to find out how coaching can
help you to confidently move forward? Please contact me at
mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com to setup a time to meet
over the phone or in-person.
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. It is published
every month, except for a combined issue in November/December
and July/August. To cancel or change your subscription, please
refer to the link at the very bottom of this newsletter.
Do you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter? Please
send the entire issue intact and unaltered to them! Thank you!
To subscribe to this free newsletter, please send a blank e-mail
to mailto:Helen20-192607@autocontactor.com. When you receive
the confirmation e-mail, please follow the instructions to
complete your subscription. As a special Thank You for
subscribing, you will receive Three FREE Success Journal Secrets
to Creating a Better Life!
Your privacy is important to me. I do not give out or sell my
subscriber list to anyone.
Please send any questions, comments or insights to me at:
mailto:Helen@BetterThanEverCoaching.com or P.O. Box 391,
Brewster, MA 02631. Or you can give me a call toll-free at:
(888) 294-5779.
Be sure to visit my website at:
http://www.BetterThanEverCoaching.com for more information.
*************************************************************
Better Than Ever Coaching
Partnering with Professionals to
Confidently Navigate Change
*************************************************************
Copyright © 2007 Better Than Ever Coaching.
All rights reserved.
*************************************************************
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